Friday, December 3, 2010

Holiday of HORRORS!

This year's Advent Calendar of Christmas Memories series is generating some talk among my family. After reading my December 3 post on Christmas ornaments, my dad took the time to dig out some of our family classics, photograph them and send me the images.

Now I could have just added the pictures to the old blog post, but these deserve their own moment in the spotlight.

My parents have saved every handmade ornament my sister and I ever made. These are all at least 30 years old.  Some are made with edible items. And we still have them...hence the blog post title Holiday of HORRORS!

Let's take a tour of some of my family's classic Christmas tree ornaments, shall we?


This work of art is titled "Starched White Yarn with Glitter," circa 1976. The artiste is yours truly. If you look closely, you can see the dried out masking tape (now held on with Scotch Tape) says AMY in the careful print of my preschool teacher. Clearly my genius shines through in this piece. My ancestors were heroes and pioneers of the West. I glued string.


Once upon a time, my sister made an ornament where she glued a blue paper ball into an ice cream cone for a cute little school craft. With a small pin on top and some yarn, it became a Christmas ornament. Time hasn't been too kind to this piece, but my parents can't bear to part with their child's creation. They put it in this Ziploc bag and stuck a hook in it. Now the bag hangs on the tree. Somewhere out there....Martha Stewart is quietly weeping. This is not a good thing.

This next ornament is not for the faint of heart.

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Once upon a time....that time being 1980....my sister made a marshmallow man ornament, with toothpicks the held on his little marshmallow arms and legs. She drew a cute face and added some glitter.

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My parents still have the marshmallow man, minus his legs.

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Oh the humanity.


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37 comments:

  1. Christmas is dead to me now. Thanks.

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  2. Ooooh, Mr. Bill! I'm in hysterics.

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  3. Lol, Thomas, with a decorated house as lovely as yours, I knew you'd cringe at my reality. At least you still have your birthday.

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  4. It will be hours before I stop laughing. Maybe days.

    And I adore your parents.

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  5. You mean to tell me those are 30 year old marshmallows? "Gross" isn't a harsh enough word.

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  6. Oh Amy - I am laughing so hard I am crying...or maybe I am just crying after that poor marshmallow man.

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  7. My whole family read this over my shoulders. Laugher, "gross", Mercy were words used. Your dad is awesome. :)

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  8. OMG this was hilarious! Thanks SO much for sharing!

    Thank goodness my parents did not save any ornaments my siblings or I made. However, I have a bunch of my son's - future blog material perhaps!

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  9. Ditto to all of the other comments, can one do a ditto of a ditto??

    No, that does not make sense, but, I am laughing too hard to make sense.

    In closing:

    OMG!!

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  10. thanks to you and your dad for this laugh out loud post! actually those remaining marshmellows look in pretty good shape to be 30 years old.

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  11. Fantastic doesn't even begin to describe this post. Do you save this type of your thing that your son makes as well? ;-)

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  12. Amy, your parents must be the coolest people with the biggest hearts. I understand keeping the preschool glitter string ornament and I can even understand keeping broken blue ice cream cone (keeping it in the bag is just plain perseverance and determination!)

    They obviously love their kids and are proud of your accomplishments, no matter how small.

    But the marshmallow man is just wrong. So So wrong.

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  13. I'm still laughing! We just decorated the tree today, including a dozen or so ornaments made by the kids, but NOTHING compares with yours...what a great post!

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  14. Hysterical! I love the leave-it-in-ziploc-bag concept. Pure genius! It's really cute of your parents. They must be sweeties!

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  15. I'll never be able to look at a marshmallow in the same way ever again. ;)

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  16. Imagine what your descendants will say when they come across these heritage items.

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  17. Oh, dear! I think I might be one of those mothers!

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  18. Hilarious! I'm still chuckling. What a lot of love in this post!

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  19. I think glitter stings should have its own booth at the next genealogy conference. What talent!

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  20. I laughed so hard at this! I have a few that I made in preschool that my parents saved. Thank goodness no marshmallows were involved.

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  21. My cardboard Xmas tree ornament adorned with macaroni and spray painted gold (c. 2nd grade) can't hold a candle to Mr. Marshmallow Man!

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  22. And I thought some of our childhood ornaments were a little crazy, but these are awesome!

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  23. Oh, yes! These are FANTASTIC and I think we went to the same school. Or at least had the same "art" teacher.

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  24. Oh my! The marshmallow man is just hysterical.. and I LOVE your string ornament.

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  25. Oh. My. Gawd.

    Hysterical.

    Still cleaning the coffee I spewed on the monitor off...

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  26. Very, very, very funny! I laughed out loud so much I started getting teary! Your story, complete with photos, is priceless! Thanks for sharing! Amy

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  27. Now that my stomach has stopped churning at the sight of Mr. Snowman, sorta, I must say that your parents are awesome to save those precious items. (Maybe not Mr. Snowman)

    I just love the blue ball, ice cream cone in the ziplock bag hanging on the tree!

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  28. The Marshmallow Man will surely become a family heirloom.:)
    Were these ornaments just found or do they grace the tree every year? I think we need a picture of the full tree! Thanks for the laugh. :)

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  29. God bless your descendants who stand too inherit Marshmallow man. And the string. umkay. Maybe they'll change tradition and not. put. up. a. tree...afterall. YIKES. LOL. Don't know if I can ever use marshmallows for something edible again. Thanks!

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  30. Absolutely hysterical!! This could be a recurring blogging theme. I bet other families have similar ornaments, although I do think the baggie ornament would be hard to beat.

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  31. Oh Amy, you don't have a sentimental bone in your body. I am so with your parents on this. You don't actually have to put them on the tree, just keep them in the family archive hermetically sealed. Right now I have a cardboard cone from my son's preschool that was a rocket (He told me so.), something with Cheerios, and a construction paper pumpkin complete with actual pumpkin seeds AND glitter. My only read concern is not attracting rodents. Of course my son's only eight. Talk to me in ten years.

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  32. Amy, thanks for the laugh! Great to see that ornament preserved for posterity!

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  33. Amy,
    What wonderful parents you have! Gives me ideas for my own children's ornaments when they start coming home from school. lol Here I thought we were being smart by buying them an ornament each year that they will be able to take with them when they are grown up, but at least now I know how I'll replace all those ornaments I'll lose!

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  34. Amy - I'm finally catching up on my blog reading and I'm SO glad I didn't give up on it!!! This post had me in hysterics! Thank you for the pics, they are wonderful!!!

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  35. This is just too funny! Thanks for sharing.
    http://leavesnbranches.blogspot.com/

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